Jagerbombs are now dead!!!!!!!!!!!!!!- 23rd February 2010
This week Hummingbird launches the stylish and fashionable GLITTER BOMB! Don't know what it is???? Well I'm going to keep an air of mystery about it and keep you all guessing. One thing I will say is that they are £2 24/7, 365.25 days a year @ Hummingbird. This is a beginning of a drink revolution and it starts in Glasgow's very own style bar of the year!
Jagerbombs are the result of .................
Humankinds inability to lose oneself control and inhibitions.
The ability to talk to someone they don't know.
The ability to dance the funky chicken.
To wake up next to someone undesirable.
To do something or someone you will undoubtedly regret.
To make life interesting, to shake things up!
To wake up the next day and assume the foetal position and cry because you feel so bad!
Cross-dressing (self experience).
The inability to perform sexually. (self experience, joint with the above, don't ask)
Adulthood incontinence.
The ability to eat and enjoy almost any animal deep fried.
To tell someone you love them, maybe as an excuse to gage a reaction then make a move!
To wake up with a traffic cone.
To be mocked shamelessly on face book
But ultimately to escape and have FUN!!!!!!!!!
Lets all be honest, the drink phenomenon, JAGERBOMB, gets you drunk at 100mph break neck speed!! It makes you a more efficient drinker and social performer. It's the drink for the young dynamic jetsetter that doesn't waste anytime.
Hummingbird salutes the jagerbomb for a valued contribution to Glasgow nightlife. But every good thing comes to an end.............
Give rise to the GLITTER BOMB, the next step in a drinking revolution.
Monday Night NOIZE, Half-price cocktails, £2 Sailor Jerry and Mix, £2 Zubrowka and mix, DJ Steven James playing Nu-Disco, Electro and House.
Tuesday Night Nectar and Nails, £5 Martini Manicure, Half-price cocktails, £2 Sailor Jerry and Mix, £2 Zubrowka and mix, DJ Andrew Melrose, playing pure ELECTRONICA!!
Wednesday Night, Vicious Circle, the legendary Ian Thompson plays a bizarre and unique mix of Indie and Electro, a true audio delight!!
The latest musical DJ talent to emerge from the Glasgow electro scene is taking over the basement @ Hummingbird every Friday Night - Ed Nygma, riddling you with all sorts of electronica from 10pm - 3am
Ben Cochrane
General Manager
I Want to Know What Love Is! I Want You to Show Me! - 10th Feburary 2010
As Valentines approaches "all the single ladies, all the single ladies put your hands up!"
Everyone is frantically pairing up and hoping to get a red envelope through the post that isn't from their mum. Saying that, my mum sent me a valentines card last year with a piece of toilet paper stapled into it with the phrase "Everytime you use this think of me" Im not really sure what to think.
Valentines Day is really all about the females, to show your appreciation, love and affection. To make them feel special, secure and wanted. To take time out of our busy schedules and hectic lifestyles to say "I Love You"
Every guy must complete all of the above with the ultimate goal of receiving aural sex. Because lets face it, Valentines day is a fantastic opportunity outside of birthdays for this!
Let me help you impress your lady friend and reach your goal by booking into Hummingbird this Sunday, Scotland's most stylish venue. If you quote the phrase "I want to know what love is" I will even throw in a bottle of Hummingbird Fizz and have it iced up and ready for your arrival. Our valentines menu is 3 courses priced @ £24.95 per person.
I was thinking that as Valentines Day is so female orientated why is there no male equivalent?? BUT WAIT THERE IS.......
This is possibly the greatest discovery in the history of mankind March 14th - Steak Day. This is fast becoming a recognised date and I urge everyone to put it in their diaries. I have even seen cards, t-shirts, and themed presents all for steak day. It basically is the male valentines day were you receive every guys 2 most favourite things, the first one is a steak! Use your imagination for the second. In Australia last year supermarkets did a special offer - free mouthwash with every steak on this day - hilarious. I could not think of anything better. Imagine the shameful look in Tesco's as girls approach the checkout with steak and ingredients for a pepper sauce on that day!!
But listen to me all the men across the country, if you do not get Valentines right you don't have a hope in hell of Steak Day. I unfortunately will be working, so I might aswell turn as many good deeds as possible, take your girlfriend, lover, pet animal, to Hummingbird and I will make sure you definitely stand a good chance for March 14th. We are even doing all of our premium cocktail list at half price so the whole evening will be entirely pocket friendly also!!
Finally.......
For any guys who are heading out over the next few nights still looking for that special someone I have a story that you can use to swoon that potential candidate.....
I was walking home from work last night when I saw something move at the side of the road up ahead. It was cold, raining and extremely windy. I couldn't make out what it was so I decided to approach closer. It was a quiet dimly lit street and there was no-one else around. As I approached closer it appeared to be a small object wrapped up in newspaper. I was nervous to peel back the paper but I also wanted to know what it was. I slowly tugged at a corner and the paper unfolded. My heart sighed as what appeared was a little white kitten with huge gaping eyes staring up at me for help. What could I do? I couldn't just leave it there, could I? It was dirty and for all I know could have diseases or anything! I went to walk away put the kitten started to purr for attention and I knew then something was wrong. I turned back and saw that the little white kitten had a broken paw and couldn't move. I had to act fast. I went to the nearest shop and purchased a white chocolate magnum. I ate it. I enjoyed it. It was nice. I kept the stick from the magnum and pulled out the shoe lace from one of my shoes. I returned to the kitten, just by the kerb at the edge of the road and placed the magnum stick against its damaged paw and tied it up with my shoelace to hold it securely in place. I picked up the kitten and I caught a slight glimpse in the corner of its eye that let me know it was glad to be taken in my arms. I tucked it inside my jacket and returned home through the wind and the rain. Once home I washed and bathed the kitten and nursed it slowly back to full health, I called it cuddles and it lives in a little basket at the bottom of my bed.
Your welcome.
What else is happening at Hummingbird....................
Monday Night NOIZE, Half-price cocktails, £2 Sailor Jerry and Mix, £2 Zubrowka and mix, DJ Steven James playing Nu-Disco, Electro and House
Tuesday Night Nectar and Nails, £5 Martini Manicure, Half-price cocktails, £2 Sailor Jerry and Mix, £2 Zubrowka and mix, DJ Andrew Melrose, playing pure ELECTRONICA!!
Wednesday Night, Vicious Circle, the legendary Ian Thompson plays a bizarre and unique mix of Indie and Electro, a true audio delight!!
The latest musical DJ talent to emerge from the Glasgow electro scene is taking over the basement @ Hummingbird every Friday Night - Ed Nygma, riddling you with all sorts of electronica from 10pm - 3am
Email us for electronic guestlist @ hummingbird@g1group.com
Join our face book group "Hummingbird Glasgow"
Or give us a call on 0845166 6039
Thanks for reading
Ben Cochrane
General Manager
